Saturday, May 7, 2011

MOMISMS


Someday your face is going to stick like that.
Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.
Yes, I *AM* the boss of you.
Because I said so.
Just wait till your father gets home.
No dessert till you clean off your plate.

I brought you into this world and I can take you OUT !!
I've got eyes in the back of my head, that's how
Get that thing out of your mouth! (or nose)
Just you wait until you have kids of your own - then you'll understand
You tell that bully to cut it out or you'll tell the teacher...
I slave for hours over a hot stove and this is the thanks I get?!
Honestly... You'd lose your head if it wasn't screwed on!

Who'll end up walking, bathing and feeding it...?

Don't pick at it, it'll get infected.

I would have never talked to my mother like that!

Don't use that tone with me!

You better wipe that smile off you face before I do it for you.


"I don't know" is not an answer.

I don't care what everyone else is doing,
I care what YOU are doing.

As long as you live under my roof, you'll listen to my rules.


Don't make me come in there!

Don't roll your eyes at me.

I'm not going to ask you again

What do I look like, your maid?!

I wouldn't make you do it if I didn't love you

Who do you think you are - the Queen of Sheba?

I always love you, but I don't always like you.

Are you going out dressed like THAT?

Don't sit so close to the TV - you'll ruin your eyes.

If you keep acting like a baby, I'll start treating you like one.

You'll understand when you're older.

Turn off the light!
Do you think we own the electric company?

Some day you'll thank me for this.

You can't always have what you want.

Life's not fair.


I'm not running a taxi service here!

What have I done to deserve such ungrateful children?

When I was a little girl ...

Act your age!

Don't make me stop this car!

Don't put that in your mouth - you don't know where it's been.


Are your hands broken? Pick it up!

We had a lot more respect for adults when I was a child.

I'll treat you like an adult when you start acting like one.

If you keep sticking your tongue out, it'll fall off.

Who died and left you boss?

You are getting on my last nerve!



Go play outside, it's a beautiful day!

I didn't ask who put it there, I said pick it up!

Don't cross your eyes, they'll get stuck that way.

You must get that from your father's side of the family.

Go ask your father!

Wait until your father gets home!

Go to your room and think about what you did.


Running away? Let me help you pack your bags.

Running away? Send me a postcard when you get there!

Don't go out with your head wet - you'll catch a cold.

Stop crying before I give you something to cry about.


Don't make me tell you again.

You'll miss me when I'm gone!

Did you use soap in that shower?

You don't have to like me - I'm your mother.


Your shoes have to be somewhere -
they didn't walk out of the house by themselves!

You didn't learn that in THIS house!

LOOK at me when I'm talking to you.

So it's raining. You're not made of sugar,
you won't melt.



Am I talking to a brick wall?

What do you mean carry you?
I carried you for nine months!

I was not put on this earth to entertain you.

You just have big bones.

A little soap never hurt anyone.

It's no use crying over spilt milk.



If you don't quit that,
I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week.

I don't know how you turned out the way you did!


Where do you think YOU'RE going?!

Eat your carrots - they're good for your eyes!

Eat the crust on the bread - it'll make your hair curly.

If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.

If it were a snake, it would have bitten you.

You won't be happy until you break it, will you?

There's enough dirt in those ears to grow potatoes!

Do I have to send you a written invitation?!
Sit down and eat!

1 comment:

Firecracker Kid said...

I heard a few of those growing up, and have quoted a few of them too. LOL. Hope you had a wonderful Mother's Day:)
Carol